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Broken, and liking it

2/11/2017

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I used to work in the inner city. I would go out at lunchtime looking for a bite to eat, stretching legs and fooling myself that I was getting some "fresh air"... in the inner city... right (wink-wink). Anyway, I used to bump into this man - a beggar with a deformed jaw. He would tell people how we was injured in a fire when he was a baby, but he had found doctors at this hospital who could perform a surgical procedure to help him. He was begging to raise money for this. I used to wonder how on earth he chewed his food, because his bite - well, actually all his teeth - was completely misaligned. I wanted to make it better for him. I wanted to help him have the surgery. I wanted to make a difference. That's what children of God do, isn't it? 

I had a plan. So one day I took him aside and gathered all the details: which hospital/doctor, how much it would cost exactly, how long it would take, etc. I was going to raise the money, arrange to take him there in my car, pay the hospital bill and help change the world!

I raised the money between myself and my colleagues within an hour. I was so amazed at people's generosity towards someone they didn't even know. I was so excited to tell him. (Apparently he had been begging for this cause for a couple of years already.) I arranged to take him to the hospital - date and time. Finally the day came. He never showed up. Sad and disappointed I wondered what had become of him. Finally I returned everyone's money and let it go (or try to, anyway). Then, out of the blue, about two months later, I went out for some "fresh air" and lo and behold... there was the man, begging for money for a procedure to have his jaw corrected.

In the end it (sadly) turned out this man didn't want to be helped. It had become his meal ticket, so to speak, his excuse. Without his disability people wouldn't pity him and he would be a less effective beggar. So he chose to hold on to his disability.

I will never forget this man.

In the broken world we live in there are more people with disabilities than we realize. I speak of an invisible kind of disability - emotional brokenness - pain from rejection, abuse, betrayal. The world we live in is proof of it: rape, murder, violence, abuse, divorce, suicide... And daily the brokenness begets more brokenness. The raped becomes the rapist, the abused the abuser. The molested becomes the promiscuous, the deserted the deserter...

There comes a time when we realize that our behavior is not acceptable. At that time we are faced with a choice: do we continue or do we find help and change? Like the beggar's deformed jaw had become his excuse to beg, our emotional pain and baggage can just as easily become our excuse for sin. We not only end up using it as an excuse but as justification for sin. And instead of humbling ourselves before God and repenting of our sin, we tell ourselves that we are just human - that all humans make mistakes. Therefore we are no better or no worse. According to society's standards we fit right in with "normal".

But we are not called as children of God to fit in with this world's idea of normal. In fact, the Bible says that if we choose to be friends with this world, we effectively choose to be enemies of God.

You are like an unfaithful wife who loves her husband's enemies. Don't you realize that making friends with God's enemies - the evil pleasures of this world - makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, if you aim to enjoy the evil pleasures of the unsaved world, you cannot also be a friend of God. James 4:4 

We are called to live for his glory - to be salt and light. We are not called to be perfect - please don't misunderstand - but let us not settle for making every mistake in the book just because we have a past. I speak from experience when I tell you that our emotional brokenness (baggage) can trip us up (sometimes) real bad. We cannot run this race successfully and want to keep the brokenness and baggage. It would be like a man competing in a marathon with a ball and chain around his ankle and thinking he will win. You are fooling yourself. You are more likely to choke on the dust of the free man running ahead of you.

Does having brokenness and baggage mean all hope is lost?

No. Just like I took pity on that beggar and made a plan to help him, God has taken pity on us in his great love and made a plan to help us. He sent his Son, Jesus, to redeem us and restore us to righteousness (being in right standing with God). Jesus dying on the cross offers us reconciliation with the God of the universe - creator of all that is - the beginning and the end, the truth, the life, the way, the one for whom nothing is too hard. He is the only one not even remotely challenged by your past; not what's been done to you, nor what you've done. He already knows every detail and he already has every answer you need. Here's the thing though: you've. got. to. show. up!

Surrendering your life to Christ, humbling yourself and repenting of your sin, is just the first step. It is like being born. That first breath is just the beginning. After that starts the process of learning and growing - emotionally AND physically. You start learning about right and wrong, how to crawl, how to use the potty, how to stick a spoon in your mouth (and not up your nose). You learn speech, colors, etc. etc. Later on you go to school, learn about relationships and your body, how to work with money, driving a car.... it's endless, really. The point is: growth must take place. It is okay for a baby to wear a diaper, but if you see a grown man in one you would definitely think something is wrong. Growing spiritually is no different.

If I plant a pumpkin seed and after a year there's still no sign of a pumpkin, I think it is safe to conclude the seed has died. It either grows or dies. There is no in between. Therefore, if you've been listening to Biblical teaching and studying the Word of God for some time, you (and consequently your life) must change, or otherwise it shows something is wrong. We are called to bear fruit, and I firmly believe that what God touches - I mean really touch - must change. God is the giver of life. He cannot be anyone else. Therefore the seed of our faith must produce something over time resembling the God our faith is in.

"There is much more I would like to say along these lines, but you don't seem to listen, so it's hard to make you understand. You have been Christians a long time now, and you ought to be teaching others, but instead you have dropped back to the place where you need someone to teach you all over again the very first principles of God's Word. You are like babies who can drink only milk, not old enough for solid food. And when a person is still living on milk it shows he isn't very far along in the Christian life, and doesn't know much about the difference between right and wrong. He is still a baby Christian! You will never be able to eat solid spiritual food and understand the deeper things of God's Word until you become better Christians and learn right from wrong by practicing doing right. Let us stop going over the same old ground again and again, always teaching those first lessons about Christ. Let us go on instead to other things and become mature in our understanding, as strong Christians ought to be." Hebrews 5:11-14

We cannot come to Christ and years later still be using the same old past as an excuse for sinful behavior. Our sinful behavior will keep us broken and on crutches. God's plan is not to train us to become Olympic standard runners with crutches. He doesn't long to prosper us as emotional and spiritual cripples (in bondage). This is not the plan God has for us. He wants to heal us and set us free. Not only does he want to liberate us from our past and our pain, but he wants to give us a new, better future. The question is: do you want to be helped? It will cost you, but believe me when I tell you it will ​be worth it!

Have you heard the saying "charity begins at home?" The Christian walk is similar. God loves you and he is intensely interested in your well being and your progress. But the day you were born (both naturally and spiritually) he also already had someone else in mind - every person whose life you would help touch for his glory. But if we don't heal, grow and change ourselves, it not only renders us less capable of helping ourselves, but also less capable to help others. How do you teach another how to run if you can't even crawl yourself?

Your healing is not just vital for you to live your best life, but it extends to those you were born to make a difference for. It is time to stop being afraid to look our pain in the eye and with God's help face the Goliaths in our lives, our minds and our past. It is time to stop making excuses and repent. We need to get to the place of laying our baggage at the feet of Christ and allow him to work in us and with us, so we may be liberated from it and start walking in the victorious and good plan God has always had for our lives. He wants us to be free - not because our past makes us inadequate or undeserving of his love, but because he knows we can be (and do) so much more without it! 

God has so much more in store for you. Won't you decide to lay down the baggage of your brokenness? Won't you choose to start on your journey of healing and redemption? Won't you lean into his purifying fire - even when it's painful - because the end result will be an invaluable treasure - worth more than silver or gold. May God lead you to a place where you are able to see beyond yourself to what God has called you to; to a life of fulfillment, joy and purpose. 

Don't let your past ('disability') be an excuse not to have the future God dreams for you. May you have the courage to let go of the familiar pain of the past for the unfamiliar and exhilarating adventure of wholeness in your future. Surrender to his unconditional love.
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Battle plan

2/2/2017

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(2 Samuel 5:17-25)
​When the Philistines heard David had been crowned king of Israel, they tried to capture him; but David was told they were coming and went into the stronghold. The Philistines arrived and spread out across the valley of Rephaim.


God has a good plan for you. Sometimes we start out well, pursuing it, then lose our way. Some perhaps haven't ever pursued God or his plan. But if there's one thing I've seen over the years, it is that the enemy will never be happy when you (decide to) start pursuing God's plan. In doing so, you become his enemy; a loss to his kingdom, a threat to darkness. If you were the devil and your only mission was to steal, kill and destroy, and someone tried to derail your plans, would you like it? Would you idly stand by and do nothing? Neither will he. So here God is promoting David into a position of power - David's time has come to rule over God's people - and what happens? The enemy goes after him. Whenever I step out in something I believe is obeying the Lord (following his leading) and things seem to come against me I try to see it as the enemy confirming for me I'm on the right track!

But here's the thing: we don't have to simply suck it up. Pursuing God is a very worthwhile goal. He promises to never EVER leave us. He has already defeated our enemy. Because of him we are more than conquerors. However, He is the vine and we are the branches. The secret to all of what God has for us is that we stay connected to the vine! So, if you're not connected, get connected. Then stay that way. Now, because David is connected, he can do this:

Then David asked the Lord, "Shall I go out and fight against them? Will you defeat them for me?" And the Lord replied, "Yes, go ahead, for I will give them to you." So David went out and fought with them at Baal-perazim, and defeated them.

Because David is connected with God through relationship, when the enemy pursues David, David pursues the Lord! He became acquainted with God while watching over his father's sheep. He saw God at work first hand in helping him defeat the lion and the bear. Now that he is in trouble he knows ​where he is safe. He runs to God for advice and instruction. There is absolutely no substitute for Godly wisdom, and who knows our enemy better than God. He's already defeated him, remember? When life feels like it is pressing you on all sides, run to the One who knows, and God will instruct you just like He did David.

You need to understand this too: the devil knows just how important your connection to the Vine is. If you are not careful he will make sure to try and keep you disconnected through guilt, shame and condemnation. He will tell you that you've failed, that you're not good enough, that God is angry with you; He will try to convince you that God doesn't want to help you. Anything to enlarge the chasm you feel between you and God when something has gone wrong. All he is doing is trying to prevent you from connecting to the very thing you need most desperately - that will restore life and victory to you. Don't let him succeed!

The next step, of course, is obeying God's instruction. Obedience is a very big deal in God's kingdom. It is such a big deal that God prefers obedience over sacrifice. Obedience is a form of worship. It is an attitude of heart and God honors it. But not just that, obedience also brings good results for us. So while you're obeying God, you're really doing yourself the greatest favor ever. You get to live with the reward of your obedience when the time comes. For David obedience meant defeating his enemy; Coming out on top! And isn't the view usually just awesome from up there?! 

What do people do who have climbed some famous mountain? They plant a flag. Something to say "I made it!" After conquering his "Philistine mountain" David plants a "flag". "The Lord did it!" he exclaimed. He burst through my enemies like a raging flood." So he named the place "Bursting". At that time David and his troops confiscated many idols which had been abandoned by the Philistines. David made sure to give praise where praise was due. He remembered to give God the glory. Asking comes so natural when we're in trouble, but do we remember to be thankful when God has come through for us? Even more, do we remember all we have to be thankful for even while we're still trusting God for a difficult circumstance or provision for a need? We should always be thankful. God is good all the time.

David's challenge is not over yet... Before the party can get started the Philistines returned and again spread out across the valley of Rephaim.

When David asked the Lord what to do, he replied, "Don't make a frontal attack. Go behind them and come out by the balsam trees, attack! For it will signify the Lord has prepared the way for you and will destroy them. So David did as the Lord had instructed him and destroyed the Philistines all the way from Geba to Gezer.

Thank heavens David didn't take the position of "been there, done that". He maintains his dependence on God - he stays connected - and he runs to God again. Know the Lord in all your ways and he shall direct your paths. Surely he instructs David yet again with a brilliant strategy. (I love the detail! He demonstrates just how he knows all things. What an amazing God we serve!) Again David obeys and again he kicks the enemy's butt! (I love it when that happens! It reminds me what fun it is to "bat" for the winning team.)

Are you in need of a battle plan? Don't wait till the enemy has worn you down. Run quickly to the one who knows exactly what you need to do to overcome. Follow his instruction with care and diligence. And don't forget to thank him. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is fare more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ. (Phil 4: 6)


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    This blog is a collection of things that make my heart soar. I hope it will inspire you to live deeper, aim higher and become the best version of you. 

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