As a child I often felt like I was not given enough instruction. I felt like I heard "no" very often, but rather associated it with being denied something I desired, rather than preventing me from doing something that would be harmful to me. In other words expressions of love that wanted to shelter or protect something (or someone) precious. Some around me responded to this so called 'freedom' with much excitement (or so it would seem to me, anyway), but it didn't make me very excited at all. I rather got the message that no one cared enough to bother. I didn't feel safe. Needless to say, neither did I flourish. In my broken world it was a fight for survival - every man for himself.

I gave my life to the Lord when I was fourteen, and although I struggled with relationships, I had no problem falling in love with God's law. Finally someone cared enough to teach me, warn me, instruct me and watch my progress. He even stuck around to bind up the wounds when I fell down and was lying face down in puddles of failure. Such love I've never known before.  

At first I desired to obey from a place of brokenness. Perfectionism was a fruit of the deep root of rejection in my life and I worked very hard to be good enough to be loved. So naturally in my relationship with God I started out trying for years to earn God's love. I reasoned that if I did everything just right I'd be worthy and if I dared miss the mark He would punish me by taking back His love. What I didn't realize then is that my perfect performance (or lack thereof) couldn't change a single thing about His love for me. That He could never love me one iota more or less than He already did at any given moment; That His love was not dependent on me because IT IS WHO HE IS! God IS love and He couldn't ever be anything else, no matter what I did or didn't do.

"Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done but because of who you are..." (Who am I by Casting Crowns)

The more I learned about Him the more I started responding to His love instead of trying to earn it. I started loving Him because He first loved me. Now I wanted to obey because it was my way of showing God that I loved back, that I was serious about our relationship, that I cherished it. I wasn't motivated by fear of disappointing Him anymore.

If you love me, obey me. (John 14:15)

Loving God means doing what He tells us to do, and really, that isn't hard at all; for every child of God can obey him, defeating sin and evil pleasure by trusting Christ to help him. (John 14:15) 

I also learned God doesn't give us instruction for right and wrong because He wants to spoil our fun or withhold any good thing from us. A loving parent doesn't just stand by and allow his small child to play with sharp objects or fire. No, you take it away to protect your precious one. And when baby cries (as babies naturally do) do you give it back just so they would stop? Of course not. You know they may not like it right then, but you also know they will thank you for it later. "...And if you hardhearted, sinful men know how to give good gifts to your children, won't your Father in heaven even more certainly give good gifts to those who ask him for them?" (Matthew 7:11)

Finally I had found the security I've yearned for since I was a little girl.

You see, God's instruction creates boundaries in which we can exist meaningfully. The fence of his guidelines keeps us safe from harm and within those boundaries we find true freedom. It is a place where we don't have to look over our shoulder the whole time in fear of wolves pouncing at any moment. It is a space where there's enough food, water, shelter and shade; A place where every need is met and some. And I can't understand: why do some not want this good thing?

"Rules are made to be broken..." 

I disagree.

Saul broke the rules repeatedly and lost his crown (and subsequently his life). Samson broke the rules, married heathen Delilah and lost his hair, his strength, his sight (not to mention his dignity and his destiny) - and subsequently his life. Pharaoh broke the rules (and his word to let the Israelites go) and lost his life along with his whole army, drowning in the sea. David broke the rules committing adultery with Bath-sheba and lost his first born child. Adam and Eve broke the rules, ate the forbidden fruit and lost the paradise. Jonah broke the rules fleeing from God's assignment in Nineveh and ended up in the belly of a whale.

Calamity in exchange for disobedience is not an old fashioned principle. In our modern day husband and wife break the rules and lose their marriages and families. A young man or woman is so hungry for acceptance that they end up addicted to drugs and die of an overdose. A young girl thinks if he sleeps with her it is the love she so desperately craves and instead she ends up with a baby with no daddy, no college education, barely any future - or perhaps even worse: AIDS. There's that one drink too many that kills a whole family in a drunken crash just a block from their house. That one "white" lie too many. Loosing your temper (and all self control with it). Stealing something small you never thought anyone would miss... And suddenly the future you thought you'd always have is gone forever.

And when everything is a mess there's the If there was a God how could He allow this to happen? 

God don't break the rules. He made them. He doesn't plow down the fence and let the wild animals rip all the sheep apart. No, the sheep decides their right to freedom is being violated and jumps the fence... straight into the jaws of the lion and the bear. And the Good Shepherd's heart is broken because they wouldn't heed his warning. "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem! The city that murders the prophets. The city that stones those sent to help her. How often I have wanted to gather your children together even as a hen protects her brood under her wings, but you wouldn't let me. And now - now your house if left desolate..." (Luke 13:34)

God instructs us because He is a loving Father - the ultimate Father - watching over His children. He instructs us because He cares. Yes, you may not always like it, but I sincerely believe if you will heed his words this day you will thank Him later!

But now is the time. Never forget the warning, "Today if you hear God's voice speaking to you, do not harden your hearts against him,..."  (Hebrews 3:15)

God loves you! Won't you just say Yes Lord.

Jesus is laid in the tomb...

The next day...

" at the close of the first day of the Passover ceremonies - the chief priests and Pharisees went to Pilate, and told him, "Sir, that liar once said, 'After three days I will come back to life again.' So we request an order from you sealing the tomb until the third day, to prevent his disciples from coming and stealing his body, and then telling everyone he came back to life! If that happens we'll be worse off than we were at first."
"Use your own Temple police," Pilate told them. "They can guard it safely enough." 
So they sealed the stone and posted guards to protect it from intrusion. (Matthew 27:62-66)

The liars called Jesus a liar... imagine that! They accused Jesus of being precisely what they were. If Jesus was such a liar why watch the tomb? He was dead. You killed Him, remember? They wanted to guard the tomb because on some level these conniving, underhanded, self righteous religious leaders and Pharisees knew Jesus was - still IS - the only Truth, just like He said. They knew they were wrong and still they persecuted Him, spit on Him, mocked Him, tried a few times to get rid of Him prematurely, and ultimately succeeded at the cross. And there they were, thinking they were the cat's whiskers and calling the shots when all they really were, was dirty cups. 

"Woe to you, Pharisees, and you religious leaders - hypocrites! You are so careful to polish the outside of the cup, but the inside is foul with extortion and greed. Blind Pharisees! First cleanse the inside of the cup, and then the whole cup will be clean." (Matthew 23:25)

I noted they only wanted to seal the tomb until the third day. Jesus clearly said that He would rise on the third day, so yes, maybe (during the time up to Jesus resurrection) they would have prevented the body from being stolen but Jesus body wasn't going anywhere otherwise anyway. The third day - the day on which they were removing the seal and the guards - is when the real action was going to take place - the resurrection. By then they would have removed the guard and Jesus would have no problem whatsoever getting out. On the surface they might have appeared smart but they were actually quite foolish. It wouldn't have mattered if they kept the tomb sealed till the end of days, no seal, rock or guard could keep Jesus in the grave.

Jesus knew exactly who and what the Pharisees were and while they thought they were calling the shots, God was using them like chess pieces on a board to execute His ultimate plan of salvation. They weren't calling the shots. God was. And He didn't make these men wicked in order to do so. They already chose to be that for themselves. He used their wickedness to fulfill His purpose. 

I think the only way Jesus could endure what was done to Him was understanding the bigger picture. He wasn't killed by surprise. He wasn't caught off guard by the underhanded plans of wicked men. Jesus knew the purpose of His being born was so He would die for the sins of a lost and broken world. He knew that His blood would pay the ransom and reunite a sinful people to a holy God. He was obedient unto death. (Philippians 2:8) I don't imagine for a single moment that it was any easier just because He knew - that's why it is called a sacrifice.

And then he rose from the dead on the third day - just like He said He would. It proved who was really lying and so, egg on their face and all, the liars lied some more...

"As the women were on the way into the city, some of the Temple police who had been guarding the tomb went to the chief priests and told them what had happened. A meeting of all the Jewish leaders was called, and it was decided to bribe the police to say they had all been asleep when Jesus' disciples came during the night and stole His body.
"If the governor hears about it," the Council promised, "we'll stand up for you and everything will be all right."
So the police accepted the bribe and said what they were told to. Their story spread widely among the Jews, and is still believed by them to this very day." (Matthew 28:11-15)

Talk about corruption and bribery. Apparently it is nothing new. Jesus had first hand experience so He understands very well when we go through similar experiences. 

Sometimes when I look around me at all the deceit, corruption, violence and destruction going on in our world I feel anger rise in my heart. Then I read these passages and I'm reminded that it has been happening for decades. The core of it all is not the times we live in, but the condition of the sinful human heart. Whenever I find myself feeling alone for standing up for what I believe is right, I'm reminded that I'm not alone. Even Jesus - the Son of God, creator of the universe - encountered the same things during His time on earth. His secret weapon was keeping His focus on His Father, staying focused on the mission and sticking to the plan. Jesus didn't pretend like problems weren't there, and wrong things were not done by wicked people. He just didn't allow it to deter Him from pursuing the real reason He was here: for the glory of the Father.

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. (Romans 8:28 AMP)

Jesus knew - and so must we - God never promised the "all things" would be good, but He promised that it would end good! 

It did. (It will)

I have been looking forward to the Easter weekend for some time now. Four days away from work instead of the usual two day weekend. Time to rest a little and just reconnect with me. I also wanted to ride my bike and spend some more time with the Lord. Life had become so rushed lately, it would seem. I've been so busy squeezing things in, but some more valuable things had become a bit squeezed out, I've noticed.

I started my weekend off sleeping in a little bit later than the usual 6am, and just as I awoke the electricity went out. Not AgAiN!! I wanted to say. We've been out of electricity so frequently lately. We've closed the office more than twice the past two weeks for sitting in the dark without computers. I've got stuck with my motorcycle just to finally get to my dad's house - guess what? No electricity and he can't see in the dark to help me. I've sat in class at college having a lecture by candlelight because of load shedding. I didn't really want to say. I wanted to scream.

What I've realized from the past two weeks is that when a few things go wrong concurrently or successively I tend to feel as if everything is going wrong. I lose sight of all the things that are still perfectly fine. Things like being able to put one foot in front of the other perfectly to walk, or to see without needing glasses, or how my fingertips move and every nerve responds to messages from my brain. The fact that I can think and reason - and even write this blog post on the keyboard. I breath without assistance and I sleep like a log. I have hot water and real nice clothes to wear - cool in summer and warm in winter. I sleep on a bed and not the floor and I have shelter from rain and wind and cold. There are so much more that I can mention. These are but a few. 

Just because SOME things go wrong SOME of the time doesn't mean EVERYTHING is going wrong ALL of the time... no matter how it feels.

During the past week I felt the Lord tell me to be on the lookout for interruptions to my normal routine. To watch how I behave and adjust in order to take it in my stride; To watch to stay in line with what pleases Him and to be sensitive to Holy Spirit. Even if I don't understand, there is method to the madness. 

So this morning my instinctive thought was What am I supposed to do today without power?! and to complain because I haven't even had my morning coffee. Instead, I remembered what the Lord spoke to my heart and I decided to see it as a blessing in disguise.

I planned on using the longer weekend to make more time to spend with the Lord - to really think about what Easter means and to put the chocolate aside for a minute. With electricity I found myself starting the day checking my e-mail and Facebook instead. Next thing I might have wanted to move on to other things and I still would not have spent the quality time with the Lord I had planned on. The electricity outage kind of steered me exactly towards where I should have been: Starting my day in the Lord's presence instead of on the computer. I decided to spend the quality time and to be thankful for everything else that was still perfectly fine. 

All things considered it was the best way to start this (very) Good Friday. It was good to be reminded that I actually have everything I need because I have Christ. The rest? The rest is really all just nice to have, not need to have. I appreciate and use them as long as I can, but I also know I can be alright without them. 

More than being concerned with going without, it is our attitude during those times of going without that we should be worried about. 

All and all I'd say it was a very Good Friday indeed.  

There's just something about Spring. You can't see it and you can't touch it, but you can feel it. It is a sense of hope and new beginnings.

Spring has a way of making people fall in love, with life and with each other. It inspires courage to make a change and to try new things. It makes you want to clean up a little and create order out of chaos. Like fresh new grass sprouting up after a field has been burned it empowers us to believe again that the hard times will pass and that something beautiful is within reach. I was born in Spring. It is my favorite season of the year.

This Spring it is nearly a year since I've published my first book Let Your Heart Take Flight: Parables for our modern age. Quite an appropriate title for Spring, I think. What a better time for a heavy heart to take to flight, to shake off discouragement, loneliness and despair, and start soaring above the hardship and harsh conditions of the past cold winter months of your life. It's like getting a new haircut, or pampering yourself with a manicure or a pedicure (for the ladies), or maybe a weekend away fishing for the boys. Whatever it is for you, we all need a little TLC. 

While on the one hand we slowly start dusting off flip flops and stock up on sunblock and a new bikini, it is also a good time to pick some fresh flowers for the soul. Let Your Heart Take Flight will encourage and challenge you to rise to new heights in this season that awaits you. Like a good facial the Biblical truths will help cleanse your heart and mind of wrong thinking, exfoliate the dead skin cells of bad habits, and replenish the moisture of your spirit with the soothing words of love, kindness and comfort. It will also give you some tips and tricks on how to keep your character beautiful for longer.

By the time you're through you won't want to leave without having scheduled your next appointment, because (believe me) you'll be coming back for more.

So, I invite you to treat yourself. Get your copy here - available in hardcover, paperback and even e-book. I really think you will enjoy it! And if you do, be so kind to share the stories and help me spread the word. You can also get in touch with me. Let me know what the book has meant for you. I look forward to hearing from you.

Come on then, CeLeBrAtE Spring with me!

My greatest desire is to live a meaningful life. I don't want to look back on my time on earth and have done nothing besides breath. I firmly believe that God had created us with purpose and that somehow, some way our lives should count for something. I truly believe it is in the center of fulfilling God's purpose for our lives that we not only glorify Him, but also find the fulfillment we seek. Strange enough, when we seek God, we not only find Him, but also ourselves.

Sometimes though, I feel like things are not progressing fast enough. My zeal for purposeful living turns into frustration and instead of working for me, it works against me. During times like these it is good to stop and take a good look at just how far you've come. This week was a tough week for me, so today I'm putting some time aside to remember and to be thankful. I might not be where I'm supposed to be just yet, but I'm certainly a long way from where I used to be.

I remember... 

Ever since I can remember I've been intrigued by anything with wheels. I've always wanted to travel. As a child, whenever we pulled in at a gas station I would stare longingly at the colorful wire toy cars. I remember the bright yellow's, blue's and red's. I could never quite decide which one I liked best. I would imagine what it must be like to drive one of them and the places I would go. I never got to own one but I would hook my pink hoola-hoop around my waste and pretend I was a bus driver. Around and around the pool I would go. I don't remember where I imagined I was going but I certainly remember the ride.

As I got older my desire to travel stayed with me but I was too afraid to venture out on my own. I always imagined I'd get married and my husband and I would have these adventures together. Let's just say my life didn't quite work out the way I had imagined. My twenties came and went - no husband - and I started losing hope that I'll ever go anywhere. 

In my early thirties - still no husband - I realized I had better start living my life or I'll die waiting to live. I decided to start looking for travel opportunities on my own. The one place I never thought I'd ever set foot became the first place I ever traveled to abroad: the United States of America. I still remember standing on the corner across from Ground Zero in New York City and thinking, It had to be God; That I could be so blessed to be standing right there where I never imagined I ever would.

I look back now and I know my travels (so far) has changed my life. I hope I never stop exploring the beautiful places of the world. There's so much I would still like to see. 

I only dreamed about the seeming impossible until God made it real in my life. Is anything too hard for Him? No! He can do anything. It is up to us to trust Him for big things.

If you are feeling discouraged or frustrated, like you've been going nowhere slowly, I invite you to sit with me and think back on the times when God has brought you through, or just blessed you because He is God. Even feel free share your stories in the comment section. I'm sure it will also encourage and inspire someone else. Remind yourself of His faithfulness in the past. It will encourage you to trust Him to be faithful in the future. And don't limit a big God with small thinking. Be bold. Allow Him to expand your limited thinking to match the size of His limitless dream for you.

"And I said, 'This is my fate; the Most High has turned his hand against me.' 
But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
They are constantly in my thoughts." (Psalm 77: 10-12)

Say this with me: I will remember!

Prolonged difficulty and struggle has a strange kind of gravity about it: it seems to pull your chin to the floor. In that position it becomes quite near impossible to laugh or enjoy anything, and it makes it difficult to remember all that you have to be grateful for. It shrinks your horizon of possibilities and the size of your world to the sphere of your boots, eyes cast down, your head hanging in hopelessness.

I've been staring at my feet for a while when I finally felt God say: look up. I know I've heard that before, so I went to look up Abraham's story in Genesis 13.

When God told Abraham to leave his home Lot went with him. Both men had quite substantial wealth (large flocks, etc.) and the land could not sustain them living together anymore. The situation became rather tense and the herdsmen starting fighting among each other. Abraham, in pursuit of peace, suggested they rather part ways and gave Lot first choice of the land. Lot chose the prime spots and left Abraham with the second best leftovers. I don't know about you, but I might have felt a little done in if I was in Abraham's shoes. I get the feeling that Abraham, after trying to honor God and do the right thing, got stuck with something that didn't seem like much of anything at all. He must have felt disheartened.

Look up!

But when the dust of Lot's leaving had settled, the Lord spoke with Abraham and said, Look up from the place where you are (Genesis 13:14). Sometimes all it takes is one moment. If you could just look up and in that moment catch a glimpse of hope. In that moment God can touch your heart and open your eyes to the wonder of all that He wants you to see. You don't want to miss a moment like that.

Just like Abraham God wants you to look beyond where you are right now. Maybe you feel like you've been left behind in the dust with no sign of life, nor any promise of rain and you wonder if the drought will ever be over. Take heart: it may be where you are but it is not where God intends for you to stay. He's prepared a way for you to move forward.

Look up!

Look up in your hopelessness so He can show you hope. Look up in your pain so He can show you His healing power. Look up in your anger so He can show you how to find freedom and peace. Look up in your confusion so He can show you the way. Look up in your sadness and despair so He can show you His comfort, and in your weakness so He can show you His strength.

Wherever the place you find yourself in today, I encourage you to look up. God's got something new to show you.

Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18 MSG)

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. (Colossiens 3:1,2 MSG)

As you look up from the place where you are today, may your eyes behold the wonder of what God wants you to see. May He fill your mouth with laughter and your heart with a new song.

When I first started cycling a few years ago I didn't know too much but I've come a long way since. Today I have the comfy padded riding shorts and shirts with handy pockets made of quick dry fabric. I have the camel pack, the pump, the inner tubes with slime (to prevent punchers) and the compact patch and solution kit just for in case. I doubt I'll need it though, because I also have the spare tube - it comes complete with green slime. Then there's the little gadget you use to measure tire pressure anywhere, anytime, the other little gadget measuring speed, distance, time, etc. and let's not forget the super cool sports glasses with interchangeable lenses. I used to have a gel seat cover but, like I said, I've come a long way (ha-ha). The one thing I don't have is the clip-in riding shoes; The idea of being stuck to the bike still makes me a little nervous. Overall I consider myself pretty well equipped. 

This morning I came across a very unfortunate young man who clearly still had a long way to go - literally and figuratively. He had just bought himself a snazzy road bike - one of those ultra lightweight ones with the very thin rims - and he was taking it for a test ride. He didn't ride too far before he started walking, pushing the bike along with a flat tire - shame. He was a long way from home. He didn't have a pump with him. Heaven knows, I've done my fair share of walking, but I really rather prefer riding, so I took pity on him and stopped to help. Despite my best intentions, my mountain bike pump didn't fit his road bike valve. He wasn't keen on patch and solution and my spare tire - green slime and all - wasn't of any help. Best I could do was point him in the direction of the nearest gas station. Hopefully he could inflate the tire there and ride home gas station to gas station. 

Just then another gentleman came along and what do you know: he had the same kind of bike as the guy in distress. His bicycle pump fit perfectly and he even carried with him two spare tubes. 

Does the fact that I couldn't help the man mean something is wrong with me (or my bike)? Did I do anything wrong? No. Sometimes you're just not the "tool for the job" and that's okay. When you need to hit a nail you use a hammer. You don't reach for the scissors - not even if it's the best scissors ever made. No, you use the instrument best suited to the job. 

There had been times in my life when I had come across people who needed help. Despite my best efforts, advice, prayers, scripture searching and believing God till I was blue in the face I couldn't see any fruit of my labor. At times I had felt like a terrible Christian and a colossal failure. Other times I would feel like I barely lifted a finger and everything would come up roses. Does this make me a good Christian? 

In time I learnt that it was not about me. It was not my work, therefore it was neither my success to brag about, nor my failure to mope about. In the end I stand - all of God's children do - in the service of the King of the universe. He has given us certain gifts and He had designed opportunities for us to honor Him in the earth. That is the purpose for our making a difference: so He may be glorified. Not so we may feel good about ourselves, or even better than the next guy. Our confidence shouldn't be in whether or not we impress the world with our good works, but in knowing that we are loved by God, unconditionally and beyond measure. This confidence should make us want others to know (and experience) His love too, therefore reaching out to share it with others, i.e. making good works an expression (a fruit) of our faith, rather than thinking it earns us a right position with God. We believe (in Christ) and therefore are saved by grace.

When you've done your best and feel like you've failed, just remember that sometimes you're simply not the "tool for the job" and that's okay. Keep trusting the Lord and stay willing to be of service. I know He will use you so He may be glorified.

Choose to have a heart that says, "Here I am, Lord. Send me."