I used to work in the inner city. I would go out at lunchtime looking for a bite to eat, stretching legs and fooling myself that I was getting some "fresh air"... in the inner city... right (wink-wink). Anyway, I used to bump into this man - a beggar with a deformed jaw. He would tell people how we was injured in a fire when he was a baby, but he had found doctors at this hospital who could perform a surgical procedure to help him. He was begging to raise money for this. I used to wonder how on earth he chewed his food, because his bite - well, actually all his teeth - was completely misaligned. I wanted to make it better for him. I wanted to help him have the surgery. I wanted to make a difference. That's what children of God do, isn't it? 

I had a plan. So one day I took him aside and gathered all the details: which hospital/doctor, how much it would cost exactly, how long it would take, etc. I was going to raise the money, arrange to take him there in my car, pay the hospital bill and help change the world!

I raised the money between myself and my colleagues within an hour. I was so amazed at people's generosity towards someone they didn't even know. I was so excited to tell him. (Apparently he had been begging for this cause for a couple of years already.) I arranged to take him to the hospital - date and time. Finally the day came. He never showed up. Sad and disappointed I wondered what had become of him. Finally I returned everyone's money and let it go (or try to, anyway). Then, out of the blue, about two months later, I went out for some "fresh air" and lo and behold... there was the man, begging for money for a procedure to have his jaw corrected.

In the end it (sadly) turned out this man didn't want to be helped. It had become his meal ticket, so to speak, his excuse. Without his disability people wouldn't pity him and he would be a less effective beggar. So he chose to hold on to his disability.

I will never forget this man.

In the broken world we live in there are more people with disabilities than we realize. I speak of an invisible kind of disability - emotional brokenness - pain from rejection, abuse, betrayal. The world we live in is proof of it: rape, murder, violence, abuse, divorce, suicide... And daily the brokenness begets more brokenness. The raped becomes the rapist, the abused the abuser. The molested becomes the promiscuous, the deserted the deserter...

There comes a time when we realize that our behavior is not acceptable. At that time we are faced with a choice: do we continue or do we find help and change? Like the beggar's deformed jaw had become his excuse to beg, our emotional pain and baggage can just as easily become our excuse for sin. We not only end up using it as an excuse but as justification for sin. And instead of humbling ourselves before God and repenting of our sin, we tell ourselves that we are just human - that all humans make mistakes. Therefore we are no better or no worse. According to society's standards we fit right in with "normal".

But we are not called as children of God to fit in with this world's idea of normal. In fact, the Bible says that if we choose to be friends with this world, we effectively choose to be enemies of God.

You are like an unfaithful wife who loves her husband's enemies. Don't you realize that making friends with God's enemies - the evil pleasures of this world - makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, if you aim to enjoy the evil pleasures of the unsaved world, you cannot also be a friend of God. James 4:4 

We are called to live for his glory - to be salt and light. We are not called to be perfect - please don't misunderstand - but let us not settle for making every mistake in the book just because we have a past. I speak from experience when I tell you that our emotional brokenness (baggage) can trip us up (sometimes) real bad. We cannot run this race successfully and want to keep the brokenness and baggage. It would be like a man competing in a marathon with a ball and chain around his ankle and thinking he will win. You are fooling yourself. You are more likely to choke on the dust of the free man running ahead of you.

Does having brokenness and baggage mean all hope is lost?

No. Just like I took pity on that beggar and made a plan to help him, God has taken pity on us in his great love and made a plan to help us. He sent his Son, Jesus, to redeem us and restore us to righteousness (being in right standing with God). Jesus dying on the cross offers us reconciliation with the God of the universe - creator of all that is - the beginning and the end, the truth, the life, the way, the one for whom nothing is too hard. He is the only one not even remotely challenged by your past; not what's been done to you, nor what you've done. He already knows every detail and he already has every answer you need. Here's the thing though: you've. got. to. show. up!

Surrendering your life to Christ, humbling yourself and repenting of your sin, is just the first step. It is like being born. That first breath is just the beginning. After that starts the process of learning and growing - emotionally AND physically. You start learning about right and wrong, how to crawl, how to use the potty, how to stick a spoon in your mouth (and not up your nose). You learn speech, colors, etc. etc. Later on you go to school, learn about relationships and your body, how to work with money, driving a car.... it's endless, really. The point is: growth must take place. It is okay for a baby to wear a diaper, but if you see a grown man in one you would definitely think something is wrong. Growing spiritually is no different.

If I plant a pumpkin seed and after a year there's still no sign of a pumpkin, I think it is safe to conclude the seed has died. It either grows or dies. There is no in between. Therefore, if you've been listening to Biblical teaching and studying the Word of God for some time, you (and consequently your life) must change, or otherwise it shows something is wrong. We are called to bear fruit, and I firmly believe that what God touches - I mean really touch - must change. God is the giver of life. He cannot be anyone else. Therefore the seed of our faith must produce something over time resembling the God our faith is in.

"There is much more I would like to say along these lines, but you don't seem to listen, so it's hard to make you understand. You have been Christians a long time now, and you ought to be teaching others, but instead you have dropped back to the place where you need someone to teach you all over again the very first principles of God's Word. You are like babies who can drink only milk, not old enough for solid food. And when a person is still living on milk it shows he isn't very far along in the Christian life, and doesn't know much about the difference between right and wrong. He is still a baby Christian! You will never be able to eat solid spiritual food and understand the deeper things of God's Word until you become better Christians and learn right from wrong by practicing doing right. Let us stop going over the same old ground again and again, always teaching those first lessons about Christ. Let us go on instead to other things and become mature in our understanding, as strong Christians ought to be." Hebrews 5:11-14

We cannot come to Christ and years later still be using the same old past as an excuse for sinful behavior. Our sinful behavior will keep us broken and on crutches. God's plan is not to train us to become Olympic standard runners with crutches. He doesn't long to prosper us as emotional and spiritual cripples (in bondage). This is not the plan God has for us. He wants to heal us and set us free. Not only does he want to liberate us from our past and our pain, but he wants to give us a new, better future. The question is: do you want to be helped? It will cost you, but believe me when I tell you it will ​be worth it!

Have you heard the saying "charity begins at home?" The Christian walk is similar. God loves you and he is intensely interested in your well being and your progress. But the day you were born (both naturally and spiritually) he also already had someone else in mind - every person whose life you would help touch for his glory. But if we don't heal, grow and change ourselves, it not only renders us less capable of helping ourselves, but also less capable to help others. How do you teach another how to run if you can't even crawl yourself?

Your healing is not just vital for you to live your best life, but it extends to those you were born to make a difference for. It is time to stop being afraid to look our pain in the eye and with God's help face the Goliaths in our lives, our minds and our past. It is time to stop making excuses and repent. We need to get to the place of laying our baggage at the feet of Christ and allow him to work in us and with us, so we may be liberated from it and start walking in the victorious and good plan God has always had for our lives. He wants us to be free - not because our past makes us inadequate or undeserving of his love, but because he knows we can be (and do) so much more without it! 

God has so much more in store for you. Won't you decide to lay down the baggage of your brokenness? Won't you choose to start on your journey of healing and redemption? Won't you lean into his purifying fire - even when it's painful - because the end result will be an invaluable treasure - worth more than silver or gold. May God lead you to a place where you are able to see beyond yourself to what God has called you to; to a life of fulfillment, joy and purpose. 

Don't let your past ('disability') be an excuse not to have the future God dreams for you. May you have the courage to let go of the familiar pain of the past for the unfamiliar and exhilarating adventure of wholeness in your future. Surrender to his unconditional love.

(2 Samuel 5:17-25)
​When the Philistines heard David had been crowned king of Israel, they tried to capture him; but David was told they were coming and went into the stronghold. The Philistines arrived and spread out across the valley of Rephaim.

God has a good plan for you. Sometimes we start out well, pursuing it, then lose our way. Some perhaps haven't ever pursued God or his plan. But if there's one thing I've seen over the years, it is that the enemy will never be happy when you (decide to) start pursuing God's plan. In doing so, you become his enemy; a loss to his kingdom, a threat to darkness. If you were the devil and your only mission was to steal, kill and destroy, and someone tried to derail your plans, would you like it? Would you idly stand by and do nothing? Neither will he. So here God is promoting David into a position of power - David's time has come to rule over God's people - and what happens? The enemy goes after him. Whenever I step out in something I believe is obeying the Lord (following his leading) and things seem to come against me I try to see it as the enemy confirming for me I'm on the right track!

But here's the thing: we don't have to simply suck it up. Pursuing God is a very worthwhile goal. He promises to never EVER leave us. He has already defeated our enemy. Because of him we are more than conquerors. However, He is the vine and we are the branches. The secret to all of what God has for us is that we stay connected to the vine! So, if you're not connected, get connected. Then stay that way. Now, because David is connected, he can do this:

Then David asked the Lord, "Shall I go out and fight against them? Will you defeat them for me?" And the Lord replied, "Yes, go ahead, for I will give them to you." So David went out and fought with them at Baal-perazim, and defeated them.

Because David is connected with God through relationship, when the enemy pursues David, David pursues the Lord! He became acquainted with God while watching over his father's sheep. He saw God at work first hand in helping him defeat the lion and the bear. Now that he is in trouble he knows ​where he is safe. He runs to God for advice and instruction. There is absolutely no substitute for Godly wisdom, and who knows our enemy better than God. He's already defeated him, remember? When life feels like it is pressing you on all sides, run to the One who knows, and God will instruct you just like He did David.

You need to understand this too: the devil knows just how important your connection to the Vine is. If you are not careful he will make sure to try and keep you disconnected through guilt, shame and condemnation. He will tell you that you've failed, that you're not good enough, that God is angry with you; He will try to convince you that God doesn't want to help you. Anything to enlarge the chasm you feel between you and God when something has gone wrong. All he is doing is trying to prevent you from connecting to the very thing you need most desperately - that will restore life and victory to you. Don't let him succeed!

The next step, of course, is obeying God's instruction. Obedience is a very big deal in God's kingdom. It is such a big deal that God prefers obedience over sacrifice. Obedience is a form of worship. It is an attitude of heart and God honors it. But not just that, obedience also brings good results for us. So while you're obeying God, you're really doing yourself the greatest favor ever. You get to live with the reward of your obedience when the time comes. For David obedience meant defeating his enemy; Coming out on top! And isn't the view usually just awesome from up there?! 

What do people do who have climbed some famous mountain? They plant a flag. Something to say "I made it!" After conquering his "Philistine mountain" David plants a "flag". "The Lord did it!" he exclaimed. He burst through my enemies like a raging flood." So he named the place "Bursting". At that time David and his troops confiscated many idols which had been abandoned by the Philistines. David made sure to give praise where praise was due. He remembered to give God the glory. Asking comes so natural when we're in trouble, but do we remember to be thankful when God has come through for us? Even more, do we remember all we have to be thankful for even while we're still trusting God for a difficult circumstance or provision for a need? We should always be thankful. God is good all the time.

David's challenge is not over yet... Before the party can get started the Philistines returned and again spread out across the valley of Rephaim.

When David asked the Lord what to do, he replied, "Don't make a frontal attack. Go behind them and come out by the balsam trees, attack! For it will signify the Lord has prepared the way for you and will destroy them. So David did as the Lord had instructed him and destroyed the Philistines all the way from Geba to Gezer.

Thank heavens David didn't take the position of "been there, done that". He maintains his dependence on God - he stays connected - and he runs to God again. Know the Lord in all your ways and he shall direct your paths. Surely he instructs David yet again with a brilliant strategy. (I love the detail! He demonstrates just how he knows all things. What an amazing God we serve!) Again David obeys and again he kicks the enemy's butt! (I love it when that happens! It reminds me what fun it is to "bat" for the winning team.)

Are you in need of a battle plan? Don't wait till the enemy has worn you down. Run quickly to the one who knows exactly what you need to do to overcome. Follow his instruction with care and diligence. And don't forget to thank him. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is fare more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ. (Phil 4: 6)

Jonas Nightengale is a problem child, turned rebel teenager, turned conman healing evangelist now selling "real miracles, sensibly priced". Together with his entourage they roll into the small town of Rustwater, Kansas, with a broken down vehicle - very ironically - to the church choir singing "I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood..."

Rustwater is a small town in desperate need of rain for their crops - simple, real (and sadly gullible) folk - prime pickings for the fake 'new kid in town'. On one hand the local sheriff is not fooled that easily and goes all out to try and prevent the people from being conned, and on the other hand is a cripple boy (Boyd) who needs a true miracle - one that Jonas can't offer. He had been for prayer before but the ministers told him he was not healed because he didn't have enough faith. He's been building his faith ever since and Jonas is about to meet his Match.

On the last night Jonas is busy "feeling another healing coming on" when he is confronted with Boyd wanting prayer and suddenly Jonas just doesn't have any "healing power left in him". Boyd is not concerned with Jonas though. His eyes are fixed on the statue of Jesus hoisted as a backdrop on the stage and he believes that if he can touch it - as a means of touching Jesus - he can be healed. It made me think of the woman that suffered with the issue of blood and believed that if she could only touch Jesus' hem she would be healed - and she was.

Jonas didn't quite expect a real miracle but the boy's faith was not in Jonas anyway. In the process Jonas' life is changed and so also a whole town by God's response to the faith of one cripple boy for a healing miracle. And then it rained!

This movie highlighted two main issues for me:

1. God can use whatever He wants to accomplish His purpose - even a fraudulent conman. The sheriff tried everything in his might to shut him down but he did not succeed. Fake or not, it sparked hope and faith in Boyd's heart that just maybe God could do it for him too. The boy was looking to God, not man, and God proved faithful. It reminded me of how God is able to work all things together for good. I don't believe the bad is from Him. There is only light in Him, but He is not so weak that the things of this world throw Him off balance and into a frantic panic, rendering Him as powerless as we are. Not the God of the universe, the God of the impossible - no siree!
   
   In Biblical times God often needed to set the Israelites straight when they wandered away from Him. He did it by letting their enemies triumph over them in battle so they would turn to God in their need and be reconciled to Him. God prospered their enemies to do this. It might seem unfair that God was siding with the enemy but they were merely chess pieces to accomplish His purpose. God didn't make Israel's enemies evil, nor did He bless them for being evil. They were already evil all by themselves. God just used it for His purpose, and once it was accomplished, He - in turn - dealt with them for their wickedness. In the same way God still uses things in the world today to accomplish His purposes: someone buying someone a meal, a shoe lace that breaks and saving someone's life from the 9/11 disaster, an anonymous letter in a mailbox, a campaign saving a girl from human trafficking, or a home for a baby whose parents had died of AIDS, etc. What the enemy intends for harm God can use for good!
   
   
2. These false people pretending to be Christians sure hit the nail on the head. I heard a lot of the right words ('Christianese') - lingo - I saw a lot of the right gestures, the right songs, the right clothing, the right rituals, etc. and thought to myself how easily you can be fooled by the fake if you don't know what the real deal looks like. The Bible speaks of false teachers who will claim their half truths as the Truth. That is a big problem nowadadays; a half a truth sounds like it could very well be the real thing but it only contains enough truth to lead you astray - bait on a hook. It reminded me how important it is to learn as much as I can about the real deal so I would be able to spot the fake, the 'wanna be', and that I will not be swayed by the lies.
   
   We live in a world where people are not as uneducated as they used to be. The crooks who are harder to catch make sure they stay up to date with the developments in their field so they can continue to be succesful crooks. In the same way the devil - the father of lies - is not fast asleep in his mission to steal, kill and destroy as many lives as he can. For sure there is a spiritual battle going on every moment of every day. It might look Christian, smell Christian, sound Christian, etc. but does it align with God's Word - the Bible? God never contradicts Himself. Proverbs urges us to question and measure to the Truth of God's Word. Don't believe everything you see and hear. Be spiritually vigilant; watch and pray.

Above all - do not fear - God remains in control and His eye is on you! Just reach out to Him - He is everywhere!

John Maxwell said, “your attitude determines your altitude”. I was very much reminded of this again over the Easter weekend when my family and I went hiking.

We arrived early morning, very excited for the day ahead and looking forward to some quality time together in the beautiful outdoors. We started off real strong and highly motivated, and within ten minutes we had gotten lost.

“Ok, no problem, let’s just retrace our steps to the start and try again.”

The second time around seemed as if we got it right. It was quite the guessing game, as the starting point had no visible sign and to us – a few inexperienced city slickers – well, a tree looked like a tree, looked like a tree. But as we progressed it appeared as if we had got it right, so we kept going.

We had read the brochures and the website, and accordingly we were going to walk through beautiful mountainous terrain and a cave, cross over some awesome streams and pass by waterfalls, and even swim in a rock pool. We couldn’t wait. Alas, however, not many sights of any stream, and we kind of stumbled onto (what we assumed) were the rock pool, but we couldn’t be sure if this is the one we could swim in. The lack of trail markings had really thrown us for a loop and the sense of uncertainty slowly diminished the fun we had prepared for on the day. After all, the trail was supposed to be 5 miles long (8km) and we felt fit enough for that, but we were not prepared for how things turned out.

Eventually it became clear we had gotten lost... again, and finally, when we found someone with even half an idea of how to get back to our car, it turned out we would have walked double the distance to get back home. Our feet was already showing signs of blisters, the afternoon sun was toasty, the water supply was running low and the sun would set in just two or so hours. Heaven forbid we be stuck in the wilderness in the dark.

Attitudes started nosediving (fast) as emotions started running wild and even a few tears were cried. And all I could think was “Pull up! Pull up!" Right there, right then was the moment that could make the difference between lying down and dying in the desert, or getting out alive.

I thought of the movies I’ve seen where people have to survive in the wild in cold, dark and dangerous conditions with predators prowling around in the dark almost as if they could smell the fear, and how everyone with a “lie down and die” attitude did not survive. The ones who made it out were those who were able to fight the fight in their head; the ones who refuse to quit, who chose to be courageous and do what they had to to get back home; the ones who kept their focus and acted like they were going to make it. By golly, I was determined to be one of those!

When the Israelites had the first opportunity to enter the Promised Land they sent twelve spies to check it out.  Ten came back with detrimental reports on how huge the giants were and how there was no way they could be defeated – how they were like grasshoppers in their sight. But two spies looked at the same land through the eyes of faith – they took God on His promise – and they saw a land filled with milk and honey - same land, same giants. Right there was the moment the nation had to choose whether they were going to lie down and die, or pluck up their faith and courage and do it! Because God said they could.

Are you facing a difficult situation today and all you feel like doing is giving up? Have you lost your hope that nothing is too hard for God, or have you been trying in your own strength and failed? What you choose in this moment will make all the difference whether you die in the wilderness of your hardship, or make it through alive to your Promised Land. Will you have fear or will you have faith?

Sometimes the battle is hard and you feel a whole bunch of emotions you don’t know what to do with. Feelings are normal because we’re human. But you know what? It’s ok to cry as you cross the finish line. Who cares about smudged make-up or bruised egos? And besides, feelings change all the time. Don’t chain yourself to it. And when the going gets tough remind yourself that the only step you need to take right at any moment, is the ONE right in front of you – not the next ten or fifty steps. Keep your eye on that finish line. What matters most is that you cross it!

Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. He who promised is faithful. Rest if you must, but don't you quit!

I still remember my sister taking me riding on the freeway for the first time with my new motorcycle. It was my first ever motorcycle and not too long after I had just learned to ride. I've driven a car long enough to know you don't play games on the freeway. You drive (or be driven over). So, rather determined to not let fear get the better of me, I bravely excelled nearly full throttle. "Hmm, not bad. at. all," I thought, feeling pretty impressed with myself, but the faster I rode the more aware I became how strongly the wind was blowing against my body. It took effort to keep my knees pressed tightly against the tank so my legs wouldn't flap in the wind, not to mention the over sized bowling ball on my head (helmet). I thought I was going to pull a muscle in my neck for sure. Thankfully it was just a short ride to start off with. I could just see myself flying right off the handle - quite literally! 

It's been just over a year now since I started riding - a whole year's more experience, more confidence, more wisdom and a whole lot of increased upper body strength.

When you first give your life to the Lord it is a lot like starting out to ride a motorcycle for the first time. All you think about is the adventures you're gonna have, the wide, open spaces, the sun on your face, the wind in your hair. Aah, that's life. Then you slowly realize how expensive all the safety gear is, you get caught in the rain and soaked to the bone, a cable snaps, a tire blows out and the hair is one big tangled mess by the time you arrive. In other words, you imagine this perfect life with no more disappointments, no heart ache, your husband will finally take the trash out and the kids will finally behave. Heck, maybe now you'll finally meet "Mr Right". Now that you've met Jesus things will finally start going right for you. But then years pass and still no "Mr Right". You (or your spouse) gets retrenched. Your best friend betrays you. Your kids get mixed up with the wrong crowd. You still gain weight when you eat too much and move too little. You're tempted to wonder "where was Jesus when...?" This is not what I ordered. Take it back.

If there's one thing I can promise you, it is that the winds of adversity will blow on this ride of life. Sometimes it may be a gentler breeze and sometimes so strong you'll just want to pull over and crawl in a ditch, maybe even wonder why you ever got on the bike to begin with. 

But one thing I can assure you from personal experience is that, if you would just hold on tight and set your heart and your hope on trusting Christ, you will grow. You will grow in strength to endure, grow in wisdom to learn even when you lose, grow in discernment so you'll recognize the strategies of the devil to distract you from the right path, grow in courage to stand up to the enemy rather than run and hide, grow in compassion as you experience God's love and mercy first hand in your own weakness and suffering, grow in love as you realize that He first loved you, grow in joy as you realize that the struggle is refining you for greater purpose, grow in liberty as He strips the shackles of the past from your ankles so you can dance again, and grow in hope of an eternity with Christ when all is said and done.

This adventure is not for the fainthearted. So take courage, if you would just trust Him and never let go I am convinced that you're going to like where He's taking you!

As a child I often felt like I was not given enough instruction. I felt like I heard "no" very often, but rather associated it with being denied something I desired, rather than preventing me from doing something that would be harmful to me. In other words expressions of love that wanted to shelter or protect something (or someone) precious. Some around me responded to this so called 'freedom' with much excitement (or so it would seem to me, anyway), but it didn't make me very excited at all. I rather got the message that no one cared enough to bother. I didn't feel safe. Needless to say, neither did I flourish. In my broken world it was a fight for survival - every man for himself.

I gave my life to the Lord when I was fourteen, and although I struggled with relationships, I had no problem falling in love with God's law. Finally someone cared enough to teach me, warn me, instruct me and watch my progress. He even stuck around to bind up the wounds when I fell down and was lying face down in puddles of failure. Such love I've never known before.  

At first I desired to obey from a place of brokenness. Perfectionism was a fruit of the deep root of rejection in my life and I worked very hard to be good enough to be loved. So naturally in my relationship with God I started out trying for years to earn God's love. I reasoned that if I did everything just right I'd be worthy and if I dared miss the mark He would punish me by taking back His love. What I didn't realize then is that my perfect performance (or lack thereof) couldn't change a single thing about His love for me. That He could never love me one iota more or less than He already did at any given moment; That His love was not dependent on me because IT IS WHO HE IS! God IS love and He couldn't ever be anything else, no matter what I did or didn't do.

"Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done but because of who you are..." (Who am I by Casting Crowns)

The more I learned about Him the more I started responding to His love instead of trying to earn it. I started loving Him because He first loved me. Now I wanted to obey because it was my way of showing God that I loved back, that I was serious about our relationship, that I cherished it. I wasn't motivated by fear of disappointing Him anymore.

If you love me, obey me. (John 14:15)

Loving God means doing what He tells us to do, and really, that isn't hard at all; for every child of God can obey him, defeating sin and evil pleasure by trusting Christ to help him. (John 14:15) 

I also learned God doesn't give us instruction for right and wrong because He wants to spoil our fun or withhold any good thing from us. A loving parent doesn't just stand by and allow his small child to play with sharp objects or fire. No, you take it away to protect your precious one. And when baby cries (as babies naturally do) do you give it back just so they would stop? Of course not. You know they may not like it right then, but you also know they will thank you for it later. "...And if you hardhearted, sinful men know how to give good gifts to your children, won't your Father in heaven even more certainly give good gifts to those who ask him for them?" (Matthew 7:11)

Finally I had found the security I've yearned for since I was a little girl.

You see, God's instruction creates boundaries in which we can exist meaningfully. The fence of his guidelines keeps us safe from harm and within those boundaries we find true freedom. It is a place where we don't have to look over our shoulder the whole time in fear of wolves pouncing at any moment. It is a space where there's enough food, water, shelter and shade; A place where every need is met and some. And I can't understand: why do some not want this good thing?

"Rules are made to be broken..." 

I disagree.

Saul broke the rules repeatedly and lost his crown (and subsequently his life). Samson broke the rules, married heathen Delilah and lost his hair, his strength, his sight (not to mention his dignity and his destiny) - and subsequently his life. Pharaoh broke the rules (and his word to let the Israelites go) and lost his life along with his whole army, drowning in the sea. David broke the rules committing adultery with Bath-sheba and lost his first born child. Adam and Eve broke the rules, ate the forbidden fruit and lost the paradise. Jonah broke the rules fleeing from God's assignment in Nineveh and ended up in the belly of a whale.

Calamity in exchange for disobedience is not an old fashioned principle. In our modern day husband and wife break the rules and lose their marriages and families. A young man or woman is so hungry for acceptance that they end up addicted to drugs and die of an overdose. A young girl thinks if he sleeps with her it is the love she so desperately craves and instead she ends up with a baby with no daddy, no college education, barely any future - or perhaps even worse: AIDS. There's that one drink too many that kills a whole family in a drunken crash just a block from their house. That one "white" lie too many. Loosing your temper (and all self control with it). Stealing something small you never thought anyone would miss... And suddenly the future you thought you'd always have is gone forever.

And when everything is a mess there's the If there was a God how could He allow this to happen? 

God don't break the rules. He made them. He doesn't plow down the fence and let the wild animals rip all the sheep apart. No, the sheep decides their right to freedom is being violated and jumps the fence... straight into the jaws of the lion and the bear. And the Good Shepherd's heart is broken because they wouldn't heed his warning. "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem! The city that murders the prophets. The city that stones those sent to help her. How often I have wanted to gather your children together even as a hen protects her brood under her wings, but you wouldn't let me. And now - now your house if left desolate..." (Luke 13:34)

God instructs us because He is a loving Father - the ultimate Father - watching over His children. He instructs us because He cares. Yes, you may not always like it, but I sincerely believe if you will heed his words this day you will thank Him later!

But now is the time. Never forget the warning, "Today if you hear God's voice speaking to you, do not harden your hearts against him,..."  (Hebrews 3:15)

God loves you! Won't you just say Yes Lord.

I have been looking forward to the Easter weekend for some time now. Four days away from work instead of the usual two day weekend. Time to rest a little and just reconnect with me. I also wanted to ride my bike and spend some more time with the Lord. Life had become so rushed lately, it would seem. I've been so busy squeezing things in, but some more valuable things had become a bit squeezed out, I've noticed.

I started my weekend off sleeping in a little bit later than the usual 6am, and just as I awoke the electricity went out. Not AgAiN!! I wanted to say. We've been out of electricity so frequently lately. We've closed the office more than twice the past two weeks for sitting in the dark without computers. I've got stuck with my motorcycle just to finally get to my dad's house - guess what? No electricity and he can't see in the dark to help me. I've sat in class at college having a lecture by candlelight because of load shedding. I didn't really want to say. I wanted to scream.

What I've realized from the past two weeks is that when a few things go wrong concurrently or successively I tend to feel as if everything is going wrong. I lose sight of all the things that are still perfectly fine. Things like being able to put one foot in front of the other perfectly to walk, or to see without needing glasses, or how my fingertips move and every nerve responds to messages from my brain. The fact that I can think and reason - and even write this blog post on the keyboard. I breath without assistance and I sleep like a log. I have hot water and real nice clothes to wear - cool in summer and warm in winter. I sleep on a bed and not the floor and I have shelter from rain and wind and cold. There are so much more that I can mention. These are but a few. 

Just because SOME things go wrong SOME of the time doesn't mean EVERYTHING is going wrong ALL of the time... no matter how it feels.

During the past week I felt the Lord tell me to be on the lookout for interruptions to my normal routine. To watch how I behave and adjust in order to take it in my stride; To watch to stay in line with what pleases Him and to be sensitive to Holy Spirit. Even if I don't understand, there is method to the madness. 

So this morning my instinctive thought was What am I supposed to do today without power?! and to complain because I haven't even had my morning coffee. Instead, I remembered what the Lord spoke to my heart and I decided to see it as a blessing in disguise.

I planned on using the longer weekend to make more time to spend with the Lord - to really think about what Easter means and to put the chocolate aside for a minute. With electricity I found myself starting the day checking my e-mail and Facebook instead. Next thing I might have wanted to move on to other things and I still would not have spent the quality time with the Lord I had planned on. The electricity outage kind of steered me exactly towards where I should have been: Starting my day in the Lord's presence instead of on the computer. I decided to spend the quality time and to be thankful for everything else that was still perfectly fine. 

All things considered it was the best way to start this (very) Good Friday. It was good to be reminded that I actually have everything I need because I have Christ. The rest? The rest is really all just nice to have, not need to have. I appreciate and use them as long as I can, but I also know I can be alright without them. 

More than being concerned with going without, it is our attitude during those times of going without that we should be worried about. 

All and all I'd say it was a very Good Friday indeed.  

Prolonged difficulty and struggle has a strange kind of gravity about it: it seems to pull your chin to the floor. In that position it becomes quite near impossible to laugh or enjoy anything, and it makes it difficult to remember all that you have to be grateful for. It shrinks your horizon of possibilities and the size of your world to the sphere of your boots, eyes cast down, your head hanging in hopelessness.

I've been staring at my feet for a while when I finally felt God say: look up. I know I've heard that before, so I went to look up Abraham's story in Genesis 13.

When God told Abraham to leave his home Lot went with him. Both men had quite substantial wealth (large flocks, etc.) and the land could not sustain them living together anymore. The situation became rather tense and the herdsmen starting fighting among each other. Abraham, in pursuit of peace, suggested they rather part ways and gave Lot first choice of the land. Lot chose the prime spots and left Abraham with the second best leftovers. I don't know about you, but I might have felt a little done in if I was in Abraham's shoes. I get the feeling that Abraham, after trying to honor God and do the right thing, got stuck with something that didn't seem like much of anything at all. He must have felt disheartened.

Look up!

But when the dust of Lot's leaving had settled, the Lord spoke with Abraham and said, Look up from the place where you are (Genesis 13:14). Sometimes all it takes is one moment. If you could just look up and in that moment catch a glimpse of hope. In that moment God can touch your heart and open your eyes to the wonder of all that He wants you to see. You don't want to miss a moment like that.

Just like Abraham God wants you to look beyond where you are right now. Maybe you feel like you've been left behind in the dust with no sign of life, nor any promise of rain and you wonder if the drought will ever be over. Take heart: it may be where you are but it is not where God intends for you to stay. He's prepared a way for you to move forward.

Look up!

Look up in your hopelessness so He can show you hope. Look up in your pain so He can show you His healing power. Look up in your anger so He can show you how to find freedom and peace. Look up in your confusion so He can show you the way. Look up in your sadness and despair so He can show you His comfort, and in your weakness so He can show you His strength.

Wherever the place you find yourself in today, I encourage you to look up. God's got something new to show you.

Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18 MSG)

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. (Colossiens 3:1,2 MSG)

As you look up from the place where you are today, may your eyes behold the wonder of what God wants you to see. May He fill your mouth with laughter and your heart with a new song.

When I first started cycling a few years ago I didn't know too much but I've come a long way since. Today I have the comfy padded riding shorts and shirts with handy pockets made of quick dry fabric. I have the camel pack, the pump, the inner tubes with slime (to prevent punchers) and the compact patch and solution kit just for in case. I doubt I'll need it though, because I also have the spare tube - it comes complete with green slime. Then there's the little gadget you use to measure tire pressure anywhere, anytime, the other little gadget measuring speed, distance, time, etc. and let's not forget the super cool sports glasses with interchangeable lenses. I used to have a gel seat cover but, like I said, I've come a long way (ha-ha). The one thing I don't have is the clip-in riding shoes; The idea of being stuck to the bike still makes me a little nervous. Overall I consider myself pretty well equipped. 

This morning I came across a very unfortunate young man who clearly still had a long way to go - literally and figuratively. He had just bought himself a snazzy road bike - one of those ultra lightweight ones with the very thin rims - and he was taking it for a test ride. He didn't ride too far before he started walking, pushing the bike along with a flat tire - shame. He was a long way from home. He didn't have a pump with him. Heaven knows, I've done my fair share of walking, but I really rather prefer riding, so I took pity on him and stopped to help. Despite my best intentions, my mountain bike pump didn't fit his road bike valve. He wasn't keen on patch and solution and my spare tire - green slime and all - wasn't of any help. Best I could do was point him in the direction of the nearest gas station. Hopefully he could inflate the tire there and ride home gas station to gas station. 

Just then another gentleman came along and what do you know: he had the same kind of bike as the guy in distress. His bicycle pump fit perfectly and he even carried with him two spare tubes. 

Does the fact that I couldn't help the man mean something is wrong with me (or my bike)? Did I do anything wrong? No. Sometimes you're just not the "tool for the job" and that's okay. When you need to hit a nail you use a hammer. You don't reach for the scissors - not even if it's the best scissors ever made. No, you use the instrument best suited to the job. 

There had been times in my life when I had come across people who needed help. Despite my best efforts, advice, prayers, scripture searching and believing God till I was blue in the face I couldn't see any fruit of my labor. At times I had felt like a terrible Christian and a colossal failure. Other times I would feel like I barely lifted a finger and everything would come up roses. Does this make me a good Christian? 

In time I learnt that it was not about me. It was not my work, therefore it was neither my success to brag about, nor my failure to mope about. In the end I stand - all of God's children do - in the service of the King of the universe. He has given us certain gifts and He had designed opportunities for us to honor Him in the earth. That is the purpose for our making a difference: so He may be glorified. Not so we may feel good about ourselves, or even better than the next guy. Our confidence shouldn't be in whether or not we impress the world with our good works, but in knowing that we are loved by God, unconditionally and beyond measure. This confidence should make us want others to know (and experience) His love too, therefore reaching out to share it with others, i.e. making good works an expression (a fruit) of our faith, rather than thinking it earns us a right position with God. We believe (in Christ) and therefore are saved by grace.

When you've done your best and feel like you've failed, just remember that sometimes you're simply not the "tool for the job" and that's okay. Keep trusting the Lord and stay willing to be of service. I know He will use you so He may be glorified.

Choose to have a heart that says, "Here I am, Lord. Send me."